Whatever conversation I find myself in related to parenting, I hear the word “patience” come up again and again. As I look back on the experiences of parenting 3 daughters, I feel regret about the times I Could (not Should) have been more patient. So, yay “patience”, but I also see an inherent expectation in striving to be more patient that can actually just add to our parenting stressors. A practice you might consider adopting when you become aware of those familiar feelings of impatience like frustration, irritation, anxiety, confusion, is to take a time in. When you feel these emotions, turn attention inward and just notice what is happening. From physical sensations of say, a clenched jaw or uneasy stomach, to naming a feeling (this is irritation), you simply notice what you notice. Now this practice alone will not magically turn you into the paragon of a peaceful, patient parent (alliteration hyperdrive!), but it will allow you to create a new way of thinking and being when with your child. Just taking that pause will allow you to examine the choices you have in that moment so you are building skills of responding to stressors vs. reacting. And what I discovered, now that my daughters are all grown, is that the memories I have of those cringe-worthy moments of impatience, are by far overshadowed by their memories of all the times I was a peaceful parent.
